On the Use of Abuse

Profanity is a poor pariah in the world of words. I often wonder why. If you ask me, expletives are like salt and pepper. Without them, conversations are oh so bland and boring. Imagine office life if you weren’t allowed to use foulese. WTF would you do during WTF moments? You can’t ‘cow compost’ during presentations, can you? And ‘toady’ is such a limp substitute for ‘rear kisser’ which in turn is a sterile euphemism for you know what. What I am getting at is, the unparliamentary, deserves as much respect as the immaculate verbs in tuxedos. Thankfully, at least one industry has recognised the need to celebrate cuss words – the booze industry!

Thierry Boudinaud and Guy Anderson were the first to spot the potential in the power of insults. Around the year 2001, they dubbed their brand new vintage wine, Fat Bastard. The snobs and stiff upper lippers were clearly taken aback. ‘Why would a nice wine, be given such an offensive sounding appellation?’ was the one question on everyone’s lips. But the vintners couldn’t care less. To them, the name was befitting, downright provocative and a clear conversation starter. And the best part was it brought a smile to everyone’s face. What else can one ask from a wine!

The success of the Bastard spawned many more Swear Word Brands. Boutinot, UK’s best known winemaker threw its hat in the ring with a low priced wine called Old Fart. And they broke wind again with Old Fart’s Wife. A company in Australia took the cue and extended the logic to beer. They christened their crisp, clean and gob-smackingly refreshing premium lager as BITCH. Their rationale: with 6% alcohol that packs a lot of kick, what else could you call it!

If all those labels sounded outrageous to you, I am sure you’ll cringe when you hear of Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush. That’s what the New Zealanders chose for their Sauvignon Blanc. Ain’t that as lovable as naming a TASMAC rum, Moothrum? Before you call me names, think of the recent hit Kaminey. Doesn’t it prove that bad words are good for business?